My best friend just died..?

my best friend died this a week and a day ago. she had a very rare type of cancer for the past three years and became terminal this past November. i miss her so much and since she passed away im starting to relapse in cutting. i know she wouldnt want me to but i just feel like i've lost all hope since she's gone. she was my hope and my everything. i want to stop for her and my sister who is always there for me, but i cant find the hope....